Daredevil Bird Clique

So I don't know about any of you, but I know of at least one other person (Krista) who knows about these birds that I hate so much. Let me tell you about these wonderfully dangerous birds. (Haha wonderfully dangerous, I sound like a commercial for cereal. "They're magically delicious!")

Daredevil Birds: okay, so these are the birds that, when you're driving down the road, refuse to move from infront of your car till last minute. What always happens is: You're happily driving along and you see a bird in the road. It doesn't move. You get closer. It doesn't move. You're right on top of it. It finally decides to take off, just missing your car by inches.

My scenario of these incidents: You're driving happily along obeying all the laws and you see a bird.
"Move birdy"
You start getting closer and the bird hasn't even flinched.
"Birdy, please move." -hold breath-
You get right on top of birdy. -heart stops-
Birdy flies up into the air. -closes eyes (yeah I close my eyes as if it could hit me personally. yeah, I know it's dangerous) and heart stops for a split second-
Birdy makes it out safely, barely missing the car by inches.
-Start breathing again and heart starts pumping blood again-
"Whew the bird made it okay"
-Realization hits-
"DAMN BIRD! YOURE RECKLESS! DONT YOU KNOW THAT COULD HAVE BEEN YOUR LIFE?!?! DONT YOU KNOW I COULD HAVE CRASHED!!!!?!?!?!" (I know I wouldn't have crashed over a shampoo bottle sized bird, I just overreact)



What happened today (dun dun dun): Going 65 mph I hit one of those birds. I hit one. I...(whisper)...murdered one. That's one less daredevil bird to worry about. And I know that sounds mean, but in MY defense: I was going the speed limit (which I NEVER do), I was paying attention, and I went through the whole panic attack said above minus the bird escaping by just inches. I did everything as I was supposed to. It's the bird's fault. He had every potential energy in his little birdy body to fly away on time. To fly away before my car even became a danger to him, but he just HAD to give into peer pressure. He had to impress all the other little birdies that were in the daredevil bird club. He wanted to become a part of their clique (which obviously he wasn't yet. He didn't know how to up and fly away on time, so obviously he had never done this stunt before. Hence: he wasn't in the daredevil bird clique yet). He chose to stay there. I didn't tell him "Hey birdy, let's see how long you can sit there!" Infact, I was saying the exact opposite. Peer pressure cost him his life!

Maybe I didn't kill it. Maybe there's that small hope somewhere that he's still alive. He did fly off...to the side and up. Was he flying himself or was it from the impact? I don't know. But theres that little flicker of hope that. Or maybe if it was him flying off, he was flying off with what little dignity and pride he had left to go off and die. (Kind of like the bird that Krista hit with the discuss. R.I.P. Discus hit bird).

Then it seemed like on my way home, every bird I saw within 100 feet of me on the road would up and fly away way before they normally would. It's like they knew I was a .....murderer.


This is a warning to all of those birdies out there. Fly away on time birdys!