The little boy who wanted to play oppossum

Thursday, March 24, 2011
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Well let's rewind a little bit to my nephew being a baby.
REWIND: Ok.. lots and lots of ear infections.
FASTFORWARD: His ENT (Ear Nose & Throat) specialist decides that it's time he gets his adenoids removed because just getting tubes put in on a regular basis isn't doing anything for his ear infections. Hopefully the adenoids being removed will be a good thing.
The week before his surgery I'm told he's having surgery. If you know me- you know my nephew is my world. It's no secret. So I decided that since I didnt have class thursday or friday I would leave wednesday night to go home for his surgery (even though it meant I wouldnt be going to bed till late and I would be waking up at 4 am to go to the surgery).

Surgery goes well. Doctor is confident about it and we are just waiting for my nephew to finish eating his popsicle so they see he is okay to leave. They release him and we decide to go to lucnh. Jayden decides that he is going to sleep all through lunch which was acceptable because I mean hey, he just got out of surgery and was still very groggy and probably in pain not to mention he was on a pain medicine for the pain.

*Funny break from the seriousness of this blog* Jayden was sitting on my lap and he woke up to tell me "Nana, I poopoo" and I said "Ok baby, we will change your diaper in a second." and he lays his head back on my shoulder only to pick it back up a few seconds later and say "Nana, I peepee" and I said "Yes baby, we're going to change you "and next thing I know my lap is warm. I was hoping I was just feeling it through his shorts, but no... all the juices from his IV during the surgery were released from my 2 year old nephew's bladder and soaked through his diaper and shorts. So I'm sitting in a restaraunt an hour and a half away from home (where I would have a change of clothes) with a wet lap. That was great.


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This is when he decides to play oppossum.
We are driving home planning on going straight home since all of us are tired. Now let me give you a quick layout of the car.
Driving: Me. Passenger seat: mom. Back seat: Dad. Back seat in a carseat: Jayden.

My grandparents had decided to stop at starbucks and my brother and his girlfriend were driving ahead of us on the way home. I was only driving because my mom was tired and my dad wasn't feeling too good. So I hear my nephew gag and I look in the back seat, my dad says he's fine so I continue driving. I hear him gag again, turn around and all I see is my nephews eyes starting to go in the back of his head. I started crying (which again, if you know me I dont cry) and freaked out. So I exited the highway (from 4 lanes over) pulled into a parking lot while my dad did CPR, mom called everyone, and I pressed the onstar emergency button.

My nephew had stopped breathing. It was super scary and I couldn't do anything about it.

Now he is fine. He was at driscoll children's hospital over night so they could monitor him, but it was one of the scariest experiences of my life.

I think God plans these things. Not necissarily almost losing my nephew, but how the car was laid out. First of all, my dad was feeling so sick he could hardly move, but he still decided to ride with us that morning to corpus for my nephews MINOR surgery. Then he happened to be sitting in the backseat when this all went down- which I'm CPR certified but if I had been back there I probably would have went into shock and not known what to do.

All I can really say is I'm so thankful my nephew is here. It was great friday morning when I woke up at the hospital with him and I heard him laughing.


Now, with all that said: Don't ever miss the opportunity to tell someone that you love them. Ever.


I love my nephew bear.
GOD IS SO GOOD.

PostSecret - Suicide voicemail.

I go to postsecret every week. I love it and I love reading the random secrets. Theres secrets that sometimes I can relate to and since theyve started doing the whole voice thing it seems like they hit me even more.
First, if you don't know what postsecret is, go.... NOW!. www.postsecret.com


Now... today I went and there was this posted:
This is the last thing I heard from my girlfriend in January of 2009. It was right before she took her own life. I didn't answer the phone because I was in class, and have regretted it ever since.
Missed Phone Call by eflore7
http://soundcloud.com/eflore7/lyla-1

this hit me on a personal level because Ive been one of those "I regret not answering my phone" people and I live with that regret on a daily basis. Sometimes its easier than other days. If youre someone that feels like this...ever... leave a voicemail. Call someone else if they didnt answer. Its worth it. Trust me.

Just like I wish I would've answered the phone...sometimes I wish Chance would've left me a voicemail. I feel like if I had gotten a voicemail...about anything, not even one that sounded sad just a "Hey, call me back" I would've called back immediately.


I dont know, but it's worth it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH9CxM6o-eI

Child Don't Fear

You brought me Your mercy.
You said, "Child, just rest.
I've seen your pain and I have more for you here.
Whenever you're ready, bask in my love.
Child don't fear."

I just ran further, I pushed You away.
You brought me Your love when I just showed hate.
I didn't want it, but You never gave up though I pushed you away.
The more that I left you, the more that you saved.
You brought me down, straight to my knees.
Opened my eyes, Lord, You set me free.
And You said "Come-
Listen to all that I have said.
You are my child, believe what you've read, not the lies that you've been told.
I've seen your pain and I'll take it away.
If you just allow me to bring you to life.
Come run on home now, there's more for you here.
Bask in my love as my mercy falls down.
Daughter call out to me, I know it seems hard.
But child don't fear."

Lessons from my grandfather

When I was younger there was one man I was completely and utterly in awe of. I loved him with my whole heart, all of my cousins fought over to whom he belonged, and I don't think I ever once saw this man frown. Growing up if you had asked me, I swore I was going to marry my grandpa, "Poppa".
As you get older you realize how you saw things as a child and how things change. You learn the rights and wrongs and you get shown truth. I've been very fortunate to call one of the greatest men "Poppa" and so have all of my cousins. As I've grown up I've found him to be the most inspiring, strongest man in all the world and as I think about my past weekend and my experience at Encounter I think of my grandpa and how I see Jesus in him and how it's always been that way.
I've grown to realize that the love of my life is Jesus. It goes with the whole "Wedding in heaven" thing. It's true. I find it to be anyway and one thing that I think has always shown me the faith in my grandfather is the fact that if we would ask him how his day was he would simply state
"Any day that I open my eyes, put my feet on the floor, and the good Lord allows me to stand up is a good day."


He would tell that to anyone and I'm so greatful to have him as a part of my life. If you haven't met him, you definately should.

Oh-ver-WELM-dddddd ramblings.

Overwhelmed.
Isn't that a funny word? What does it even mean to be "whelmed"? How can you be over it? I don't even know. Sometimes we just use words I guess. I think that I'm more than overwhelmed though. I can't even begin to describe it.

Boy has my life been hectic for the past few weeks...months? Years. It's crazy what God puts you through. It's crazy what God pulls you through. It's even more crazy when you're going through that dark period when you see just black and white and nothing else.

I spent a few hours today going over every emotion that is on my mind. Every emotion on my heart really and the way I can come up with it would be complete and utter nonsense to everyone who isn't feeling EXACTLY what I'm feeling (which is everyone except me, because only I know what I'm feeling).

My heart lately:
Worn out. Drained. Tired. Stressed. Can't focus. Breaking point. Happy. Mad. Excited. Filled with God. Sometimes not so filled with God. Where do I need to be? What do I need to do? The future. Where am I going to end up? How is it going to work out? Where is my life going? Where do I WANT to be? But more importantly where does God want me?


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


^
That was me screaming. But now that's over.


Ever been in a mood. A downer sort of mood and all you need is one piece of information to just completely make your day, tie you over, and give you something to be so excited about. My roommate just gave me news that we are going to be coaching a soccer team of 6 year old boys and girls and I couldn't be more excited. If you know how I feel about soccer, you will understand.


Ahh.
Okay so this is just a bunch of RANDOM overwhelmed ramblings.
God is Good.
Let go and let God.
My saviour died so that I might live.




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Thanking a friend for this phrase:
"God takes our trash and turns it into art."

I've realized...

I've realized something today. We are human and just as likely as we are to bleed, we cry. I've cried today. All day. Tears of frustration, stress, love, joy. Tears Ive needed to cry out for a long time now. God is working magnificently in my life through people who are more than amazing and there's no way I could ever repay any of them for the love I've been shown. I love y'all like Jesus loves us.

I've realized that there's going to be pain. I mean, of course I have realized this for a while now. Pain is real and it's in every day life and though we try to run from it, we never really get away from it. Pain is inevitable and all too real. But like I said last night, I'm realizing I can't do it alone. So if you're one of those people who have randomly cheered me up, talked to me till 3 am about God and recent events, helped me keep my faith, randomly spoke words of encouragement, and even forced me out of my room into fresh air for an escape from the imprisonment that our minds put us in sometimes, then thank you.. More than words can even begin to describe, I am more than thankful. Greatful really. In a sense it's almost living like Jesus. What you've done for me. You've brought me up and it's worked wonders. It's true friendship and love. I couldn't be any more greatful than I am right now.

I've realized that it's okay to cry. It's okay to break infront of people and that doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're human. That's why God gave us each other after all isn't it? So we can be His hands and lift each other up? I can see God moving in so many ways in my life. Ways that I have been way too blind to before. He's working through people and I'm finding it more true as the days go by: I'm loved. As are all of you. Every single one of us. Sometimes we just need amazing people in our lives to tell us such on a daily basis as a constant reminder of what He did for us.


Again, I love y'all like Jesus loves us.

All the reason I need...

A beautiful smile that's crooked and yet so perfect. Two magnificant blue eyes staring up at me. A giant hug every single time I see him. Curly yet somehow partially straight blonde locks. All the love radiating from his face.

Every time I hear his voice I can't help but smile. His silly faces, slobbery kisses, and random bursts into dancing make my day what it is when it's the best.

The one thing in this world that I don't think I could ever live without is two years old, holds my hand at the beginning of all long car rides, holds my heart on a daily basis, and makes me laugh when I feel like the world is crashing down around me.

He's all I need to get by.
He calls me "Nana" and I call him "Nephew Bear"