FAILED trip to Bucees/Never go to El Campo

El Campo, Texas.
El Creepy, Texas.
Mia and I took my nephew, Jayden to the zoo a few days ago (that story is a seperate one in itself) and decided that we would hit up the mall before heading to Buc-EEs. If you don't know what Buc-EEs is, then you need to GOOGLE it and go check it out. It's basically the best place ever invented as far as convienient stores/truck stops go. So I type "Bucees" in my GPS. There were only two choices (though I knew the Buc-ees I normally go to is in Wharton) Port Lavaca and El Campo. So I was like "Oh whatever, I'll just pick the El Campo one cause it's in the same way as Wharton..."
Getting on the highway was a trick in itself. "Prepare to take ramp ahead." So I'm driving way under the speed limit trying to figure out where this said ramp is. Turns out, it was just the road we were on and it turned into a highway. There was no ramp. So after a while of confusion, we keep driving. We see all these Bucee signs and start getting more excited.
EXIT RIGHT. Yessssss we are at the Edna exit, almost there. So we follow the gps to where we think we are getting closer and closer, ignoring the other Buc-ee signs thinking that of course, my gps would NEVER lie to me. My gps takes me on some turns and then I hear "turn right", but I saw a Buc-ees sign and I was like UH UH! THERE IT IS!!! and I quickly pull in left. Turns out it was just an outlet Buc-ees. WHO THE HELL MADE AN OUTLET BUCEES?!?! Idiots.
Anyway, that was our failed trip to Buc-ees. An actual trip there will be coming up soon. As for El Campo. So we're driving around trying to figure out whether or not we should head back on the highway just to get to Wharton, or head back towards Beeville. So we decide to head home, but first I needed gasoline. So I type in my gps VALERO because, hey, who doesn't love valero? Well it sends me on this goose hunt for a nonexistant valero in El Campo. So frustrated, I give in, I will use a shell gas station. I pull into shell and Im like "Oh whatever, It's life" and the credit card swiper was TAPED SHUT...they didnt accept credit cards. So I was like SCREW THIS!!! and drove off.
As if Im not frustrated enough, Mia decides to tell me that she thought she had seen a valero over by the Buc-ee outlet nonsense, so I head back that way. Turns out she hadn't. There wasn't a valero. Then...we see a diamond shamrock town. WELL THAT'S THE SAME THING AS VALERO!!!!! I think and start to pull in only to see that it's closed down. I was starting to really think that El Campo was going to hold us hostage and not let us leave.
Finally I type in Shell to my gps and it takes me to a shell right off the highway. I pull in, start pumping gas, and this creepy old guy is watching me the WHOLE entire time. All I could think was "I am NEVER coming to El Campo again."




We left.
We don't plan on going back.
The end.